you can't out run your past.

i fucking love hair metal, and i mean that with no trace of irony. i never stopped. no matter how many incredible diy emo shows i went to i still went to the arenas and saw the spectacle of the rock show. i even kept going in the lean years when the bands would have to play community colleges and that sketchy bar down by the shore you would never think about going to unless you liked meth. so in that spirit here are a few of my favorites. and no i don’t like trixter or saigon kick you d-bag.
up first, bon jovi - slippery when wet. this record has the hits, living on a prayer and wanted dead or alive, i defy even the most jaded scenester to not sing along, so good there was a point i listened to this daily. aaron is no doubt cringing at this as he tells me being from new jersey he is required to hate this.
cinderella - night songs. quick story, once when i didn’t fail too many classes in grade school i was given tickets to see this band, i thought it was good incentive at the time, somebody save me still holds up, and i remember the video fondly.
motley crue - shout at the devil. the crue, have you read the dirt? you should, that may be the only book i remember aaron reading on tour, pure debauchery how are they still standing? anyway the packaging on here is perfect, it has one of those tip finish jackets where if you tilt it into the light you can see a “hidden” pentagram. which if it was put out on southern lord you all would be drooling over it. and lets just say the crue know how to rock a gatefold, peep this:

even tippler is checking it out.
faster pussycat - s/t, now while maybe not a classic still damn good, anyone remember when the singer was on parker lewis can’t lose? of course not i seem to be the only one who cares about such things, or when one of the guitarists got busted for having his girlfriend mail him a teddy bear full of heroin via fed ex, and when arrested they asked him what he learned and his reply was something like “i should have used ups they don’t x-ray their packages”, classy.
guns n roses - appetite for destruction. simply classic, front to back flawless, which is near impossible with hair metal, but i think this one does it, this is the original cover, the cross cover is still cool, but there is something about the dark banned one. i am amped just thinking about this one, i still remember how to play most of this record. oh and yes i am one of the 3 people that actually liked chinese democracy.
poison - open up and say ahhhh. every rose has its thorn is the perfect power ballad, essentially 2 chords and the lyrics got bill and ted into heaven. here it is also with its original cover, this cover was banned for being too demonic or something, i guess it would scare middle america, people are silly.
ok so how much credibility did i just lose?
-andy